Obedience without Intimacy is Dead Religion

"This is LOVE for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are NOT BURDENSOME."
1 John 5:3

It is amazing to me how Satan can take the most innocent actions and pervert them to become so far from what God desires for us. There are so many times when I start making promises to the Lord about areas of my life that I am going to change for His glory, and before I know it, I am focused so much on the actions that go along with those promises that I've forsaken intimacy with the One who I'm working for. I specifically remember a month last semester where I got so caught up in trying to do what I thought would bless that Lord, but in the end I was so overwhelmed because without fail every single day I would fall short of the things I was trying to accomplish. And as soon as I would think things were getting better I would come across another verse that convicted me of something that I was doing wrong. My relationship with the Lord was suffering, because I started feeling unworthy to approach his throne and ashamed to ask Him for anything when I wasn't meeting the standards of his word. I remember sitting in my car by myself one night and verbalizing my frustrations to God that I was trying so hard to be who He had called me to be, but that I just couldn't do it. I remember saying, "God, I am about to give up. I know you know I love you, but I am worn out trying to do all of these things. The more I try to figure out what I need to be doing, the more confused I get." And I remember so clearly hearing him say, "Then stop." Not exactly what I was expecting to to hear. I just looked in my prayer journal from that night and I this what I wrote:

October 1, 2007

"Just love me, Missy. When you are truly seeking me, everything else will fall into place. Don't get so caught up in seeking answers that you forget who you are really wanting to find."
-God

He never intended for a relationship with him to be hard. I spent a long time seeking intimacy backwards. I was trying to gain intimacy through obedience, when the real answer is to seek intimacy and obedience follows. Not that you shouldn't try to follow God's word obviously, but the more you seek Him, the more your heart molds to His and all of that stuff comes naturally. One of my favorite quotes from my pastor, Jason Craft, is:

Christianity is not a discipline to be endured. It is a relationship to be enjoyed!!

There is so much freedom in that truth!